PETA Bosses Eye Clooney-Flavored Food
AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin
Bosses at animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of
Animals are sweating over a new idea to turn George Clooney's
perspiration into a tofu flavor.
PETA president Ingrid E. Newkirk has written to the movie star asking him for his permission to market CloFu.
The wacky idea came about after Newkirk was offered a vial of
handsome George's sweat, apparently taken from a gym towel he used
during a recent trip to Washington, D.C.
Unsure what to do with the sample, Newkirk took it to PETA's scientists, who assured her it could be scrumptious.
In her letter to Clooney, the president writes, "The technology
actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George
Clooney-flavored tofu. We could do that and give the tofu away.
"Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu, but
what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don't
try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they
wouldn't know how to cook it. CloFu will help people be healthier and
more environmentally friendly and will spare animals from being killed
for the table."
And taste expert Dr. Harry Lawless of Cornell University insists
the idea is not as far-fetched as it sounds: "It is no different than
making artificial chicken flavor for instant gravy."
PETA spokeswoman Amanda Schinke says, "We believe CloFu would be
delicious on its own or served over rice with a light soy sauce and
sauteed collards, in a casserole with melted vegan cheese and olives,
or perhaps pressed with vegan pesto in a panini."
But Clooney's initial response isn't all that encouraging. In a
statement through his representative, the movie star says, "As a
mammal, I'm offended."
Then again, a seat of his would go for alot on Ebay